


If my heart was a house, you'd be home

by Eienvine



Category: The Dragon Prince (Cartoon)
Genre: All Gremaya all the time, Drabble, F/M, shuffle drabbles
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-09
Updated: 2019-08-22
Packaged: 2020-08-13 13:07:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,192
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20174764
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Eienvine/pseuds/Eienvine
Summary: How a general and her voice become something more than comrades-in-arms. iPod shuffle drabbles.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I wanted there to be more Gremaya fics out there, so I figured I might as well write one! And then I decided to go old school and do a shuffle drabble. Is that still a thing? I haven't seen many lately. If not, let's bring it back.
> 
> If you're not familiar with the idea, you put your music on shuffle (I went all the way and dug an old MP3 player out of a drawer, in honor of the days when this was an iPod thing) and write a drabble for each song that comes up (I may have skipped some). I went real traditional here: these are true drabbles, 100 words each.
> 
> Because I wrote these in the order they came up on my MP3 player, they are not written in any kind of chronological order. I've written a ton of these over the last week, so I will probably post more pretty soon.

. . . . . .

**_Two Atoms in a Molecule, _ ** **Noah and the Whale**

_ Last night I had a dream we were inseparably combined _  
_ Like a piece of rope made out of two pieces of vine . . . _  
_ Then I awoke from the dream to realize I was alone _ _  
A tragic event, I must admit, but let’s not be overblown_

. . . . . .

He nearly makes it through the visit before his mother brings it up.

_ Darling, _ she signs gently, _ when will you settle down? _

He forces a smile. _ Protecting Katolis is more important. _

Because it’s true.

And because how could he tell her the rest of it?

How could he admit he lost his heart years ago to a spine of steel and a heart of gold? How could he say that marrying his commanding officer is impossible, but marrying someone else is even more so?

But then his mother gives him that sympathetic smile, and he suspects that she already knows.

. . . . . .

** _After the Storm, _ ** **Mumford and Sons**

_ And I took you by the hand, and we stood tall, _  
_ And remembered our own land, what we lived for _  
_ But there will come a time, you'll see, with no more tears _  
_ And love will not break your heart, but dismiss your fears_

. . . . . .

When it’s all over, when soldiers on both sides are gathering the wounded and dead, he walks out in the rain and finds her staring over the battlefield with eyes both relieved and confused.

_ It’s over,_ she signs.

_ Finally, _ he agrees.

Her concerned look doesn’t fade.

_ What? _ he asks.

She hesitates. Then,_ This war has been my life for fifteen years; I hardly remember peace. _ She turns a pained expression on him. _ What do we do now? _

This he knows the answer to, and he takes her hand in his; with his free hand, he answers simply: _ Now we live. _

. . . . . .

_ ** All My Mistakes,** _ ** The Avett Brothers**

_ I made decisions, some right and some wrong . . . _  
_ These things and more I wish I had not done _  
_ But I can’t go back, and I don’t want to _  
_ ‘Cause all my mistakes have brought me to you_

. . . . . .

It’s depressing, how familiar it’s become to be woken by nightmares. Perhaps if she’d been the sort of general who stays where it’s safe—but that’s not who she is.

So she goes to the window and watches the city. Her Katolis, safe and peaceful in the night, because of her and her soldiers and their sacrifices: that’s worth it.

Arms wrap around her from behind, and she smiles, reflecting that she wouldn’t have met him if they hadn’t both been soldiers, and that’s worth it too.

So no, she wouldn’t change the choices she’s made, even if she could.

. . . . . . 

** _Birken Street,_ ** ** Peter Breinholt**

_ Did you see that girl? This may be something _  
_ I don't know, but I've seen her before _  
_ Maybe she will notice and maybe she will talk to me _  
_ And maybe, well I don't know_

. . . . . .

Of course he’s heard of Commander Amaya; who hasn’t? The great war hero, Katolis’ brightest hope to stave off Xadian invaders?

But no one told him that she’s so young; only 25 or 26 years old, to his 18. Makes sense, as her sister the queen is only 28, but somehow he’s always pictured her older.

And no one told him that she’s most beautiful woman in Katolis.

Then, unexpectedly, she starts signing—just like his beloved mother, and suddenly this fierce warrior queen feels a little bit like home.

Gren never entirely belongs to himself after that first encounter.

. . . . . .

** _Brand New Colony,_ ** ** Postal Service**

_ I'll be the fire escape that's bolted to the ancient brick _  
_ Where you will sit and contemplate your day . . . _  
_ I'll be the phonograph that plays your favorite _  
_ Albums back as you're lying there drifting off to sleep_

. . . . . .

He doesn’t know when he stopped being just her interpreter, and started being her . . . everything, really.

Maybe when Sarai died, and he stayed with Amaya by her sister’s body for hours. Maybe when she nearly fell in battle, and he sat by her for two days so she wouldn’t awake alone.

He doesn’t know. What he knows is that Amaya props up the army—the whole country, really—and sometimes people forget she’s only one person, and she gets tired and hurt just like anyone.

So. Amaya supports Katolis. And Gren supports Amaya. And together they manage to stay standing.

. . . . . .

** _Broken Headlights, _ ** **Milk Carton Kids**

_ Maybe it'll bring the hillside down, maybe it'll flood the streets _  
_ Maybe when I tell you that I want you forever I'm gonna make a fool of me _  
_ But I've got the windows down, the heater on my feet and the skies are opening _  
_ It's gonna come pouring down, it's gonna come pouring out, I'm gonna say everything_

. . . . . .

_ What? _

Gren blinks in surprise.

_ You were staring, _ Amaya explains.

Heat touches his face. And for a brief moment, he thinks about it; he thinks about lifting his arms for those three little words that rattle through his chest every time he touches her, sees her, thinks of her—

But this is his best friend, his commanding officer, his hero, and he’d far rather spend the rest of his life being only her friend than risk frightening her off with unwanted declarations.

_ Just thinking about paperwork, _ he lies cheerfully.

She doesn’t look convinced. But it’s all he can give her.

. . . . . .

** _Fix You, _ ** **Coldplay**

_ Tears stream down your face _  
_ When you lose something you cannot replace . . . _  
_ And I will try to fix you_

. . . . . .

Amaya finds Gren on the wall after the battle; when she touches his shoulder, he jumps and scrubs at the tears on his face.

And her heart aches. He’s so dedicated, so driven, so efficient, that sometimes she forgets her interpreter is only nineteen: just a boy, really, fresh from his first real battle.

He forms a fist, ready to sign _ Sorry, _but she grabs his hand and holds it tightly. He tenses, then relaxes all at once, and she turns away to let him collect himself.

And they stand hand in hand, gazing at the sunset, until evening falls.

. . . . . .

** _Call My Name, _ ** **Peter Breinholt**

_ Here she comes and I think I'm seeing stars again _  
_ So take your time; what a crazy way to find a friend _  
_ That's very kind of you; I spend all my time with you _  
_ Never stop to wonder why I’m always on your side_

. . . . . .

“You’re awfully dedicated to my sister,” Sarai says innocently.

Gren blanches. He’s tried to keep his connection to Amaya professional, but it’s hard; she’s fascinating and extraordinary, and he cannot pull himself out of her orbit. And if Sarai’s noticed—

But she just laughs. “I’m glad she has you,” she says, then hesitates. “My sister is fanatically devoted to the military,” she says, both a warning and a plea. “She’ll never put . . . _ personal _ desires before duty, even for her own health and happiness.” She gives him a pointed look. “Not without help.”

Gren stares. Did the queen just—

Sarai grins.

. . . . . .

** _Everybody’s Changing,_ ** ** Keane**

_ Trying to make a move just to stay in the game _  
_ I try to stay awake and remember my name _  
_ But everybody's changing and I don't feel the same_

. . . . . .

The atmosphere is charged in the throne room, and Amaya’s never felt so tense in her late sister’s home. It’s the stiff postures, the unspoken words; Viren has grown hard of late, Harrow more desperate, Opeli more weary.

And she knows she’s not the bright idealist she once was. War takes its toll on all.

But some bear it better than others, and when the meeting’s over, she looks at her faithful interpreter, her sunshine on a dark day, and she can’t help pulling him into an embrace.

_ Why? _ he signs, surprised.

And she smiles. _ Thank you . . . for being you. _

. . . . . .

**_Future Self, _Faded Paper Figures**

_ When we try to comply with no thought for our lives _  
_ Are we courageous? Or are we contagious? _  
_ Our future selves are free; your future self will love me _  
_ Our future eyes will see; your future self will love me_

. . . . . .

Imagine two soldiers, a general and a commander.

Imagine the general has dedicated herself wholly to her country. Imagine the commander has dedicated himself wholly to his general.

Imagine lives so full of duty as to leave no room for anything else. Imagine a professional connection shifting to a personal one; imagine obligation becoming friendship becoming more. Imagine wishes and desires pushed aside; imagine hidden glances disguised as casual looks.

Imagine the loneliness.

Now imagine what the future could be, when this war gives them a moment to breathe.

But only imagine. Because for now, imagining’s all they can do.

. . . . . .


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading. Here's some more!

. . . . . .

**_Ghosts That We Knew,_ Mumford & Sons**

_ You saw my pain, washed out in the rain _  
_ Broken glass, saw the blood run from my veins _  
_ But you saw no fault, no cracks in my heart . . . _  
_ So give me hope in the darkness that I will see the light_

. . . . . .

Amaya doesn’t cry when Viren brings Sarai back. She doesn’t cry when they tell the children. And she doesn’t cry when Katolis gathers to mourn for the first of seven sunsets.

No, she cries that night on her knees beside her sister’s body, paralyzed with grief. She sobs until someone kneels beside her, a shape and scent and presence so familiar that she’s throwing herself into his arms before she’s seen his face. Gren holds her for ages, fingers running comfortingly through her hair.

They don’t speak. But she rises from her vigil utterly certain that she’ll be all right.

. . . . . .

**_Give a Little Love, _Noah and the Whale**

_ Well I know my death will not come ‘til I breathe all the air out my lungs _  
_ 'Til my final tune is sung . . . _  
_ And my love is my whole being and I've shared what I could . . . _  
_ 'Cause life is fleeting, yeah, but I love you_

. . . . . .

Gren is many things, but a fighter isn’t one of them.

So Amaya tries to keep him out of battles on occasion. _ You’re valuable to . . . Katolis, _ she says. _ And I need to know you’ll be here when I come back. _

Gren just smiles. Because there’s something she doesn’t understand: if she fell, and he wasn’t there by her side—if he didn’t know he’d done everything in his power to keep her alive—he couldn’t live with himself anyway.

_ My place is by your side. _

She hates it. But the next time she rides out to battle, he’s with her.

. . . . . .

**_Honey and the Bee, _Owl City**

_ There's something about you that makes me feel alive . . . _  
_ If I reached for your hand, would your eyes get wide? _  
_ Who knew the other side could be so green?_

. . . . . .

The blindfold over her eyes falls away, revealing the perfect picnic: sugared ham—of course he remembered that’s her favorite—with tarts for dessert. Ezran and Callum beam at her from the blanket on the grass.

And Gren grins beside her.

At first she can only stare, and Gren’s smile dims. _ What—I know you’re busy, but I thought you might—should I not have? _

Her heart swells.

(It’s been doing that, lately, when he’s around.)

He still looks concerned, and she can’t have that. So she wraps her arms around him and lets the embrace answer for her.

. . . . . .

**_I Call Your Name,_ Johnny Clegg**

_ When the wind is blowing like a lonesome train _  
_ I reach out and touch you; I call your name _  
_ When the night is lonely and I fear the coming day _  
_ I reach out and touch you; I call your name_

. . . . . .

“How can you possibly remain so cheerful in your dire circumstances?” Viren demands, and shakes his head as he walks away.

Gren watches until Viren disappears from sight, and then he sags in exhaustion, his wrists aching in their manacles. Cheeriness is indeed his default, but with each day that passes in this dungeon, it increasingly becomes an act, a desperate bid to stay calm and in control.

“Amaya,” he whispers, without quite meaning to. “I’m so sorry.” He pauses. “I miss you.”

There’s no answer, of course. But just saying her name, Gren finds himself standing a little straighter.

. . . . . .

**_I Dream a Highway,_ Gillian Welch**

_ I dream a highway back to you, love _  
_ A winding ribbon with a band of gold _  
_ A silver vision come and bless my soul _  
_ I dream a highway back to you_

. . . . . .

It’s quiet.

That’s a silly way to put it—she’s deaf, _ everything_’s quiet—but she can’t think of a better term. The fortress is empty without Gren, without his watchful eyes and warm smile always at her side. The other soldiers are competent, but they’re not him.

For the millionth time since they parted, she wonders where he is; she imagines the winding road that lies between them, tethering them to each other across the miles. 

It scares her, a little, that she’s become so dependent on another. But still, she thinks of him, and takes comfort in the thought.

. . . . . .

**_I Go to the Barn Because I Like the, _Band of Horses**

_ I’d like to think I’m a mess you’d wear with pride _ _  
_ _ Like some empty dress on the bed you’ve laid out for tonight _

. . . . . .

Sometimes he wonders if people see his sign language and forget that he’s not deaf; they certainly speak like he can’t hear sometimes. But these two soldiers have definitely learned that he can hear them quite well—to their detriment.

_ What did they say? _ Amaya asks as the young recruits scurry past her, shamefaced and grimacing.

_ The usual, _ he shrugs. _ That I can’t fight_.

She grins. _ The truth, then. _

_ Sorry you’re stuck with the worst soldier in the army, _ he signs, half-serious.

But she laughs and tousles his hair. _ You’re perfect. _

The amazing thing is, he suspects she’s being sincere.

. . . . . .

**_King and Lionheart, _Of Monsters and Men**

_ Howling ghosts, they reappear in mountains that are stacked with fear _  
_ But you're a king and I'm a lionheart . . . _  
_ And as the world comes to an end, I'll be here to hold your hand _  
_ 'Cause you're my king and I'm your lionheart_

. . . . . .

Viren’s army of apparitions is endless and untiring, and even the combined forces of the humans and Xadians fall before them. In the heart of the battle, surrounded by fallen bodies, Amaya looks desperately at Gren, fighting grimly by her side.

_ I wish you weren’t here_. She doesn’t bother explaining the harsh statement; she knows he’ll understand.

He does. _ I’m with you until the end, _ he signs, his face filled with fear and determination and something she doesn’t dare name but that makes her heart pound.

Amaya looks at his dear, freckled face and prays it doesn’t come to that.

. . . . . .

**_Lost Stars,_ Faded Paper Figures**

_ There were still entire empires of California highway _ _  
_ _ I wanted to share with you _

_ . . . . . . _

It’s such a cliche: she didn’t know what she had until she lost it.

Or almost lost it, anyway; _ don’t jinx it, _ she thinks as she looks down at Gren’s unconscious form.

It’s all so senseless, for him to survive the final battle with Viren, only to be nearly killed in a botched robbery back home in Katolis. But there’s one good thing to come from this: the thoughts and feelings that have been jumbling in her head and heart for months now have finally coalesced into an undeniable realization.

She leans down and presses a kiss to his forehead.

. . . . . .

**_Love is in the Air,_ John Paul Young**

_ I don't know if I'm being foolish _  
_ Don't know if I'm being wise _  
_ But it's something that I must believe in _  
_ And it's there when I look in your eyes_

. . . . . .

“You look happy,” King Ezran beams, and that’s how Amaya realizes she has a dopey grin on her face. 

It’s not befitting her position, and it’s a little embarrassing when she thinks of how cynical she once was about romance—and how vocal she was about it. So she makes herself adopt a serious expression.

Which lasts only until she sees Gren, and now she’s smiling again as he kisses her cheek (still with an air of wonder, like he can’t believe he’s allowed to do this now).

_ You look happy_, he signs.

And she can’t help beaming. _ I am. _

. . . . . .

_ **The Luckiest,** _ ** Ben Folds**

_ I love you more than I have ever found a way to say to you . . . _ _  
_ _ And I know that I am the luckiest _

. . . . . .

“Lucky” is a word that Amaya has come to dislike.

She sees other people say it too often, looking at the freckled soldier walking hand in hand with the war hero: “How did he get so lucky?”

Gren says it too sometimes, pressing the word into her skin with his hands and his mouth: _ How did I get so lucky? _

_ No, _ she always replies, her hands decisive, as she thinks of all the joy and peace he’s brought her. _ If either of us is lucky, it’s me_.

She hopes that if she says it enough, one day he’ll believe her. 

. . . . . .


	3. Chapter 3

. . . . . .

**_No One’s Gonna Love You, _Band of Horses**

_ We're reeling through an endless fall _   
_ We are the ever-living ghost of what once was   
But no one is ever gonna love you more than I do_

. . . . . .

It’s wonderful being back in Katolis, to take a break now that the war is over. Wonderful and peaceful.

Except when it’s not.

Because this city is full of ghosts, and Gren has become intimately familiar with that set of Amaya’s shoulders, that furrow of her brow, that means that she’s encountered something that reminds her of her loved dead: first her brother, then her parents, then her sister, then her brother-in-law . . .

If pressed, she insists she’s fine. So he doesn’t ask anymore. He just squeezes her hand or kisses her forehead, and her expression clears, and they carry on.

. . . . . .

**_Not with Haste,_ Mumford and Sons**

_ So as we walked through fields of green _   
_ It was the fairest sun I'd ever seen _  
_ And I was broke, I was on my knees _  
_ But you said yes as I said please_

. . . . . .

When Gren glances over and sees Amaya on one knee in the grass, he genuinely cannot make sense of it.

_ Are you all right? _

She smiles. _ I’m fine. I have a question for you. _

And still, he doesn’t understand—not until she signs _ Will you marry me? _

He stares, and finally demands, _ Why? _

She laughs. _Those last fifteen years of war were_ _. . . terrible. Now I’m ready to be happy. To live my life. And I can’t imagine doing that without you._

“Oh!” he exclaims aloud, finally comprehending, and falls to his knees, and answers her question with an enthusiastic kiss.

. . . . . .

**_On the Road,_ Keane**

_ When the world's laying you low _   
_ Why don't you let me carry your load? _   
_ When things get bad you know you have a friend _ _   
All along the road_

. . . . . .

_ I don’t need an interpreter, _ she stubbornly insists. She’s fought hard to be taken seriously as a soldier, to learn lip-reading so her deafness isn’t a burden, and having a shadow who speaks for her will undermine that.

_ I understand, _ signs the red-haired young soldier. _ But you do so much for Katolis; your focus should be there, not on figuring out how to be understood. I can help. _ He steps forward. _ That’s all I want to do: make things a little easier for you. _

She looks at his sincere expression a long time. And then she gives a tiny nod.

. . . . . .

**_Permanent,_ The Milk Carton Kids**

_ So they can keep construction and they can keep 'em coming _   
_ And I won’t be listening _   
_ 'Cause I found something a little more permanent _ _   
Oh yes, I've found someone that I can die with_

. . . . . .

To say people are baffled is an understatement. Being Commander of the Crown Guard is quite respectable, but it’s a step down from General of the Standing Battalion, and for Amaya to relinquish the latter for the former is . . . well, baffling.

But not to those close to her, who see the dark shadows that fifteen years at the Breach have put under her eyes. They see that her nephews, the young king and mage-prince, are desperately grateful to have their aunt nearby.

And they see the light in her face when she announces she’s getting married.

Not baffling at all.

. . . . . .

**_Rene and Georgette Magritte with Their Dog After the War, _Paul Simon**

_ Rene and Georgette Magritte with their dog after the war _   
_ Returned to their hotel suite and they unlocked the door . . . _   
_ When they wake up they will find _ _   
All their personal belongings have intertwined_

. . . . . .

One month ago they were at war, and the contrast between then and now is exquisitely surreal.

Because Katolis is in every way the opposite of the Breach. Darkness has given way to light, lava to grass, soldiers to civilians, war to peace, death to life. Gren is home, properly home, for the first time in eight years . . . and sometimes he can scarcely relax for fear that he’s about to wake and find he has dreamed it all.

But always Amaya is there, anchoring him to earth with her hand in his.

If he is dreaming, he hopes he never wakes.

. . . . . .

**_Songs About the Great Divide,_ Peter Breinholt**

_ Now it gets colder here at night, but the stars will give us light _   
_ As we huddle ‘round the fire, thinking all that we’re a choir . . . _   
_ And all this time I’m humming songs about the Great Divide_

. . . . . .

It’s fitting that Gren was assigned to the Breach. Because he’s always been on the edge of a great divide: an outsider as a child because of his deaf mother; an outsider at training camp because he’s more a diplomat than a soldier.

Strange that only here, next to a literal divide, does he no longer feel isolated. Here, a stone’s throw from Xadia, he finds peace and safety in the comradeship of his fellow soldiers, singing drinking songs around the fire . . . in his friendship with Amaya, smiling at him across the flames.

He’s grown surprisingly fond of the Breach.

. . . . . .

**_Speak,_ Nickel Creek**

_ Well I can't sleep and I'm not in love _   
_ I can't speak without messing up _   
_Eyes tell of what's behind _  
_ And hers showed the way to a long and a lonely climb_

. . . . . .

He hardly knows when he fell in love, when hero worship became _ more_. But he knows the despair he felt when he realized it.

That’s not how it should be; all the stories say falling in love should be joyful. But stories give no practical advice about falling for someone as far above you as the mountain is above the valley.

So he does the sensible thing: he hides it, swallowing his love down so deep that he nearly convinces himself it’s not there.

It can’t be good for his heart, but he doesn’t know what else he can do.

. . . . . . 

**_Such Great Heights,_ Postal Service**

_ I am thinking it's a sign _   
_That the freckles in our eyes are mirror images _  
_ And when we kiss they're perfectly aligned_

. . . . . .

Few know how lonely it is to be General Amaya of the Standing Battalion. Though friends and fellow soldiers mean well, few know the isolation of command, of duty, of the hearing loss that’s locked her in her own world all her life.

But Gren knows.

Gren is the first person outside her family to reach into her silent world and draw her out, to see beyond her facade of fearless independence. He is the end of her loneliness; he is where she belongs.

So it’s no surprise that the first time she kisses him, it feels like coming home.

. . . . . .

**_The Banjolin Song,_ Mumford and Sons**

_ She stole my heart and made me sing; she tore me limb from limb . . . _ _   
_ _ How glad I was to be a man and love that girl that I adore _

. . . . . .

“Do you like working for General Amaya?”

What an impossible question. To spend his life in Amaya’s orbit is full of excitement and companionship; it is a beautiful way to fulfill his duty as a soldier.

It is also lonely. It is reminding himself on a daily basis that it is not his place to put his arms around her when she’s discouraged or rub her shoulders when she’s tense or lay beside her when she’s weary. It is, at times, exquisitely painful.

But still, it means staying beside the dearest person in the world to him.

“I love it.”

. . . . . .

**_The Saltwater Room, _Owl City**

_ Time together isn’t ever quite enough _   
_ When you and I are alone, I’ve never felt so at home . . . _   
_ So tell me darling, do you wish we’d fall in love? _ _   
Yeah, all the time_

. . . . . .

_ Yes? _

_ Saw you walking. Wanted to see how you’re doing_.

Gren’s smile is exasperated and fond. _ I’m fine. Viren fed me and everything. I’ll be ready to return to the Breach soon. _

That’s . . . good. Obviously.

It’s just . . . she’s always been protective of Gren, but lately, with his imprisonment (and the odd state of her heart), the thought of him going back toward danger is . . . unsettling.

_ What? _

She shrugs. _ Do you ever wish we could stay here? Just you, me, peace and quiet? _

His smile is rueful; he turns away, but she catches the words on his lips. “All the time.”

. . . . . .


End file.
